I have been obsessively watching Hoarders on A & E and this weekend I watched the new Discovery Health shows about Hoarders. Many of the people profiled on these shows seem to have serious emotional issues and one or two seem to have serious mental disorders. They all live in houses and apartments packed with stuff and in various levels of unsanitary conditions, including bugs, mice, cats, feces and various and sundry molds, dust and lack of water, heat and gas. The pressure to clean up is coming from relatives, landlords or child protection agencies. I can't stop watching and I have been thinking about why.

Initially, I would watch and compare myself to the hoarders and think "I'm not like that at all." Then I would remember dreams that I have been having intermittently for the last five years about not being able to do something (usually some kind of transitional activity like moving or trying to meet a deadline or catch a plane) and being almost paralyzed by trying to organize a large amount of stuff--the stuff is always random and only of marginal value. I am trying to put all the stuff in boxes or suitcases and spend so much time doing it I am in danger of missing out on some great experience. I don't usually dwell on the meaning of my dreams, but once I realized that I was having these recurring dreams, I thought they might represent feeling bogged down by too much superflous stuff--probably not even real stuff. Then I started watching the hoarding shows and felt a sort of creepy sense of recognition. That said, I do throw stuff out, donate lots to Goodwill and have a cleaning person come every two weeks and a pest guy come twice a year.

The shows have made me realize that my dad was a hoarder--we just thought he was really messy and that it was part of his alcoholism. His car and living spaces were sliding piles of crap. His last couple of vehicles it was impossible to sit in the passenger seat, much less the back seats. When we cleaned out his rental room after he died it was full of sliding piles--he had a tiny path to the bed, and a small place to sleep on the double bed. We threw out 15 bags of worthless stuff--the room was only 10x10.

A completely different aspect of hoarding is the cultural creation of the disease of hoarding. Hoarding as disease can only exist in a culture of plenty, a culture which has enough material stuff for people to collect in excess. I have no doubt that hoarding is a real serious disorder that disrupts and/or destroys people's lives. Hoarders collect their stuff from dumpsters and trash cans, thrift stores, discount stores, and shopping malls. If there wasn't an ocean of stuff for hoarders to harvest, there wouldn't be a hoarding disorder. I am fascinated by this intersection of emotional illness and material abundance. I suppose that if people didn't have stuff to fill their emotional empty spaces they would find something else to try and stuff into the spaces.